Non-membership has its privileges
I am no longer a member of AA.
AA's Third Tradition states that I am no longer a member.
And what a freaking relief!!!
AA members are fond of repeating AA's Third Tradition – the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking – but in actual practice, there is a high road and low road in AA membership. If you are a dues-paying, meeting-attending, two-fisted Big-Booker, you're expected to say nothing negative about the history of the movement, its founders, or its whack literature and "spirituality." You are also expected to mindlessly repeat your admiration for the Twelve Steps, how they've helped you, and how they can help anyone. If someone dies or reclaims their right to drink, you are expected to blame them for following an inadequate "program." And finally, you are supposed to rigorously observe the other eleven traditions which have absolutely nothing to do with not drinking.
Screw it!
Bill Wilson (the womanizing, acid-dropping, narcissistic founder of AA) wrote to Father Dowling that he admired much in the Catholic faith and wished the Catholics had a fellow-traveler program that he could adopt. For Bill, there was too much silliness and cruelty in the history of the church's theological quarrels. I feel the same way about AA.
Verily I say unto you, Screw it!
The Third Tradition itself, due to Bill Wilson's poorly chosen language, states I am no longer an AA member – and neither are most oldtimers. Why? Members are supposed to have the desire to stop drinking. The desire to stop drinking entails two opposite desires - the desire to drink and the desire to not drink. However, I no longer drink and no longer desire to drink, therefore I do not have the desire to stop drinking. Ergo, I am not a member of AA. Q.E.D.
Having said this, peace descends upon my limbs and a rippling fuck-it soothes my troubled mind. I don't have to do anything that those AAs hold in such high esteem. I don't have to count my clean time. I don't have to work the Steps. I don't have to honor the Traditions. I don't have to be of service. I don't have to reach out to dangerous or manipulative newcomers. I can scold oldtimers for being stupid. I can hearten people who decide to drink again – giving a true "hats-off" to them if they can drink reasonably. I am free from the little-minded inanity that is my local AA! I am free from the need to correct AA's message to conform with reason.
The Lilliputians will claim that I am harming the newcomers. But my conscience is clean because I know that what they do kills people... some of these people have even been friends and lovers... some have even been me.
But I can still go to meetings if the desire strikes,
and I will go to meetings when the desire strikes...
and I will joyfully disagree to my full, foolish, and boisterous heart's content.
AA's Third Tradition states that I am no longer a member.
And what a freaking relief!!!
AA members are fond of repeating AA's Third Tradition – the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking – but in actual practice, there is a high road and low road in AA membership. If you are a dues-paying, meeting-attending, two-fisted Big-Booker, you're expected to say nothing negative about the history of the movement, its founders, or its whack literature and "spirituality." You are also expected to mindlessly repeat your admiration for the Twelve Steps, how they've helped you, and how they can help anyone. If someone dies or reclaims their right to drink, you are expected to blame them for following an inadequate "program." And finally, you are supposed to rigorously observe the other eleven traditions which have absolutely nothing to do with not drinking.
Screw it!
Bill Wilson (the womanizing, acid-dropping, narcissistic founder of AA) wrote to Father Dowling that he admired much in the Catholic faith and wished the Catholics had a fellow-traveler program that he could adopt. For Bill, there was too much silliness and cruelty in the history of the church's theological quarrels. I feel the same way about AA.
- I've seen Steps 4, 5, and 9 kill people.
- I've seen sponsors break the confidence of their sponsees out of an innocent desire to force their sponsees out of their secrets – sometimes with fatal results.
- I've seen sponsors talk their sponsees out of taking their psych medications out of an innocent belief that the Steps can cure just about any psychological problem.
- I've seen petty squabbles about whether an alcohol addict can speak about his use of other chemicals.
- I've seen desperate people turned away because they crave a different flavor of mood-altering toxin or practice another type of self-destruction.
- I've seen jealous infighting between General Service folks (who look to New York for guidance) and local intergroups (who believe New York answers to the local groups).
- I've seen people racked with guilt about using mouthwash or taking a single drink.
- I've seen people given undeserved respect for their unverifiable claim about how long it's been since their last drink.
- I've seen other people who deserve respect hushed or minimized because they exercised their legal right to drink.
Verily I say unto you, Screw it!
The Third Tradition itself, due to Bill Wilson's poorly chosen language, states I am no longer an AA member – and neither are most oldtimers. Why? Members are supposed to have the desire to stop drinking. The desire to stop drinking entails two opposite desires - the desire to drink and the desire to not drink. However, I no longer drink and no longer desire to drink, therefore I do not have the desire to stop drinking. Ergo, I am not a member of AA. Q.E.D.
Having said this, peace descends upon my limbs and a rippling fuck-it soothes my troubled mind. I don't have to do anything that those AAs hold in such high esteem. I don't have to count my clean time. I don't have to work the Steps. I don't have to honor the Traditions. I don't have to be of service. I don't have to reach out to dangerous or manipulative newcomers. I can scold oldtimers for being stupid. I can hearten people who decide to drink again – giving a true "hats-off" to them if they can drink reasonably. I am free from the little-minded inanity that is my local AA! I am free from the need to correct AA's message to conform with reason.
The Lilliputians will claim that I am harming the newcomers. But my conscience is clean because I know that what they do kills people... some of these people have even been friends and lovers... some have even been me.
But I can still go to meetings if the desire strikes,
and I will go to meetings when the desire strikes...
and I will joyfully disagree to my full, foolish, and boisterous heart's content.
posted by Troy Spears at 4:43 PM
1 Comments:
I told AA their hats should be off to me because I abstained "sucessfully" for two more years than the BigBooks, recommended One year, and then tried the experiment of drinking.
I drink moderately, sometimes don't drink, don't focus my world on drinking or not drinking. I believe I am living a balanced life, in moderation. They would and did call this denial. I say,
"Hats Off!" I cry, I feel, I am not numb. I experience pain but I do not abuse pain medication, using methods such as meditation, hot baths, oils, and music when I can and sometimes all of the above. If that fails, I cry, and sit with it. I have two drinks in the afternoon after my nap, and that relaxes me. I won't drink more because of my meds. So my friend and former sponsor calls that "controlled drinking." It all AA verbage and moderation and balance is not respected. I am thankful I am no longer affiliated with AA.
Post a Comment
<< Home