Friday, December 12, 2008

Forgiveness...

means giving up all hope of a better past.

- Landrum Bolling

posted by Troy Spears at 9:25 AM

1 Comments:

Blogger speedy said...

i can't tell you how good it is just to see that you're posting again. for the longest time you were the lone poised, balance voice of reason & compassion i could find on the web when it came to AA & its 12 steps.

briefly -- i've been a member of AA in NYC for 5 years, having accumulated periods of 3 years & 1 year of sober/clean time. while i have tried as sincerely as i can to avail myself of sponsorship & step-work, that has not been a winning cause for me. more often than not, that kind of work & those relationships have left me feeling more despondent & alone within the fellowship.

i am a skeptic & humanist & i cannot find a place in my head or heart for a belief in the supernatural. that said, i'm under no illusion that i'm an all-powerful figure at the center of a solipsistic universe nor am i unwilling to seek help from my fellows in overcoming my problems with alcoholism.

in addition to meetings, i'm pursuing buddhist study & i find that resonates with me tremendously. for now, it is all the spirituality i need.

to say that i find myself conflicted within and without AA is an understatement. between the vitriolic polemics of a small but vociferous group of anti-AA voices on the web & the sometimes unbearable religiosity, rigidity, & emotional bullying of those in AA, it's been very, very difficult to find a middle path.

naively, I've tried to engage some of the critics at WWW list-serves & commentary at anti-AA YouTube videos. while I have sincere doubts about the 12 steps, the historical underpinnings of AA, the genuine practice of 'love & service' at the ground level, i won't vilify them just as a matter of reflex.

your critiques have been thoughtful, passionate & compassionate. they've been sorely missed & i hope they'll show up more often.

best,

speedy

5:07 PM  

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